I'm anxious.
I'm nearly sixteen and in those few years I've many things. You see, the older generations believe we know naught because of our ages, but they forget: We've reached the age of the internet. We see and here things happening around the world, everyday. Our idols are easier to access and miracles happen everyday.
So, where am I going with this?
Human's are empathetic by nature. We react to things as we should and we feel sorrowful and we feel the need to bare that weight upon our shoulders. And true, some of us are exposed to tragedy: divorce of our parents, death of a loved one, accidents and so forth. But we also have the tragedy of the world to bare. World disasters, our online idols problems, we're presented with more things to empathize with.
And it's here that I must stress something very important: we don't know how to deal with it. Many of us choose to internalize our feelings. Even in this age where communication has been made all the more accessible, we shy away, because with everyone talking over each other, it often feels as though we're shouting into a void.
This, over time, has led to higher numbers of cases of depression and other mental illnesses.
Now, I myself am not depressed. I'm anxious, I'm nervous, I'm worried and any other synonym you can think of. But not depressed. Angry, antsy, un confident sure, but not depressed. So why do I care? I have loved ones who are depressed, I have friends who are as well. Depression is a serious illness that is currently not being treated well. Despite this, I'm optimistic for the future. I feel as though my generation will be a lot more understanding towards these types of problems in our children. But that's not the problem at hand is it? No, the problem is that there is no solution as of right now.
I started thinking about this recently because I was given my subject selection form. I was given two days to decide, at the age of fifteen, which courses I wanted to take so I could go off to college in the right field and then into the right program in university. Imagine that. Worst was the teachers who kept reminding us to make an 'informed decision' to 'pick the right courses the first time so you won't have to backtrack'.
I don't know what I want to do with my life.
It made me anxious. My skin started peeling, my hair started falling out. I stopped talking as much, I cried. I slept too much and not well. It wasn't a fun few days. I'm better now, I chose my courses but it was so hard. So hard. It made me wonder what it could possibly be like for those who are undergoing mental illnesses. The stress I felt upon making a decision intensified many a time, I know that I couldn't bare it. Let's be honest we can't imagine it. We couldn't even dream of how bad it truly is.
We ask them what's wrong, but they can't answer. They may very well not know themselves. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Your life can be awesome, but if your endorphins aren't going to the right receptors then you won't feel good. That, in my opinion, is kind of what this boils down to: Feeling good. About yourself, your life, everything.
So again, the question is, where am I going with this?
My mother's new catch phrase is Take it one day at a time. I'm not curing depression, but I know that for all the teenagers that are anxious and stressed, it's important to remember not to take life too seriously. Live it a day at a time. Remember that all mistakes can be fixed, and that it may very well be a good thing to backtrack. It's also important to try to learn to deal with our empathy. We can't feel the death of all the people in the world the way we would our parents. We wouldn't last a day. We have to learn to let ourselves go. To trust, to love. And we need to learn to manage our guilt. We should not feel sad for not empathizing with every child that will die today. We can't feel sad for failing to cheer up the depressive friend every day. We can't start hating ourselves, we can't become sad and depressed trying to help. We have to learn to keep distance, because the time it takes to make yourself better will be far less than the time it will take someone to help you both. Remember to take time that you need to be happy. Pick up a hobby, find something you love and pursue it.
And to those of you who are depressed especially:
Smile
You deserve it.
Sunday, 9 February 2014
Sunday, 17 November 2013
Christmas Parade 2013
So yesterday was a big day for me: it stressed me out entirely, for days, but it was wonderful and I'm going to tell you why.
The story goes like this: I've been dancing for years (note, I'm a hip hop dancer), and this year I'm an assistant teacher for essentially my dance idol's class. So, about two weeks ago, the assistant 'directrice' of the entire dance school came to see me before class and asked me if I was interested in taking part of the annual Christmas parade. She told me that there was a part that involved pairs, and one girl had dropped out last minute, leaving her partner alone. Essentially she was asking me to save this girl and be her partner. I agreed, partly because she said it would be easy to learn, partly because I felt bad for the girl and mostly because I've wanted to be in this parade since I was a kid.
When I was young, they only ever asked daughters of mothers who would be dancing in the show. As I grew older, they only asked elite ballet dancers, teachers or their assistants. I'd never fit that criteria, so that dream had essentially been shot in the leg and left to die by the side of the road.
Obviously, when she asked, I was thrilled. I knew I wasn't her first choice, but I was still so happy that I could be involved.
...then came the first practice. Oh boy. These girls had 8 years of ballet skills and an extra two weeks of practicing for this parade. Sure it wasn't "actual ballet" like the girls kept telling me, it was very basic stuff, but they still all had general grace to their movements that couldn't be learnt in two weeks, especially not to a hip hop dancer like me. It was a long choreography too, so I didn't really know it the day of the parade. To make matters worse, by the end of the dance I found myself at the very front, and I wouldn't be able to imitate the dancers in front of me.
Clearly, the day of the parade, I was not exactly stress free. I showed up to the meeting place, the hockey arena and changed into my costume, wearing my hoodie and joggers underneath my oversized costume. We were, after all, about to walk for over 2 hours outside in the cold. Pulling on my colored gloves, and my silly checkered hat, I lined up with the girls I hardly knew. This was the point they told me my partner would not be attending. Panicking and alone I revised and played with my younger students, dressed in their silly little soldier costume and then:
Our act was cycling between four songs, one for each dance group. As such, we would only be dancing about every 12 minutes, allowing us time to wave and smile and high five by standers. There were a lot of them. We walked for over two hours and it was amazing. We had a choir singing behind us, drumming clowns (Funky Karnaval) in front of us, that we got to meet and play with beforehand. I got to see Santa Claus, pet rudolph and high fived god knows how many little kids.
It was such a fun night and I'm so glad I could be a part of it. I had so much fun and guess who didn't mess up (that often).
-Kimzy
The story goes like this: I've been dancing for years (note, I'm a hip hop dancer), and this year I'm an assistant teacher for essentially my dance idol's class. So, about two weeks ago, the assistant 'directrice' of the entire dance school came to see me before class and asked me if I was interested in taking part of the annual Christmas parade. She told me that there was a part that involved pairs, and one girl had dropped out last minute, leaving her partner alone. Essentially she was asking me to save this girl and be her partner. I agreed, partly because she said it would be easy to learn, partly because I felt bad for the girl and mostly because I've wanted to be in this parade since I was a kid.When I was young, they only ever asked daughters of mothers who would be dancing in the show. As I grew older, they only asked elite ballet dancers, teachers or their assistants. I'd never fit that criteria, so that dream had essentially been shot in the leg and left to die by the side of the road.
Obviously, when she asked, I was thrilled. I knew I wasn't her first choice, but I was still so happy that I could be involved.
...then came the first practice. Oh boy. These girls had 8 years of ballet skills and an extra two weeks of practicing for this parade. Sure it wasn't "actual ballet" like the girls kept telling me, it was very basic stuff, but they still all had general grace to their movements that couldn't be learnt in two weeks, especially not to a hip hop dancer like me. It was a long choreography too, so I didn't really know it the day of the parade. To make matters worse, by the end of the dance I found myself at the very front, and I wouldn't be able to imitate the dancers in front of me.Clearly, the day of the parade, I was not exactly stress free. I showed up to the meeting place, the hockey arena and changed into my costume, wearing my hoodie and joggers underneath my oversized costume. We were, after all, about to walk for over 2 hours outside in the cold. Pulling on my colored gloves, and my silly checkered hat, I lined up with the girls I hardly knew. This was the point they told me my partner would not be attending. Panicking and alone I revised and played with my younger students, dressed in their silly little soldier costume and then:
The parade started
Our act was cycling between four songs, one for each dance group. As such, we would only be dancing about every 12 minutes, allowing us time to wave and smile and high five by standers. There were a lot of them. We walked for over two hours and it was amazing. We had a choir singing behind us, drumming clowns (Funky Karnaval) in front of us, that we got to meet and play with beforehand. I got to see Santa Claus, pet rudolph and high fived god knows how many little kids.
It was such a fun night and I'm so glad I could be a part of it. I had so much fun and guess who didn't mess up (that often).
-Kimzy
Monday, 11 March 2013
The Death Of The Penny - A Thesis
Soon, I will be making a persuasive speech in my English class on a topic that has risen to more and more internet popularity over the past year: The question of whether or not Americans should eliminate the minting of the penny.
Now, this is the thesis for my speech, so it's going to be structured as followed: A short introduction, my three main arguments, and a final conclusion.
Money is a medium that facilitates the exchange for goods and services. To be sure you don't overpay, the money is divided, all the way down to a hundredth of a dollar: the penny. This penny used to have buying power, but, because of inflation, this is no longer the case... So why do we still keep them around? Honestly, there isn't much of a case for the penny. Against it however.....
Payphones, vending machines, parking meters, don't accept pennies, as the opportunity cost (which I will get into later)lost spent counting, sorting, and transporting the coins far outweighs their worth. The only machine that takes the penny is coinstar, a machine that counts the amount of change you put into it, and takes 11.9% of it. Thus, the only way to rid ourselves of the coins is through exact change. This adds time to our purchases, and again makes us lose out on opportunity costs. Since spending it requires so much effort, pennies end up in jars, useless and failures at their jobs.
In the end the penny is a pointless investment, with no benefit for the taxpayers that pay for them. I think we should remove them from circulation and reep the benefits.
A very passionate rant/essay from me,
~Kimzy
Now, this is the thesis for my speech, so it's going to be structured as followed: A short introduction, my three main arguments, and a final conclusion.
Money is a medium that facilitates the exchange for goods and services. To be sure you don't overpay, the money is divided, all the way down to a hundredth of a dollar: the penny. This penny used to have buying power, but, because of inflation, this is no longer the case... So why do we still keep them around? Honestly, there isn't much of a case for the penny. Against it however.....
- Argument #1: The penny costs more to make than it is worth.
- Argument #2: Pennies require effort to spend.
Payphones, vending machines, parking meters, don't accept pennies, as the opportunity cost (which I will get into later)lost spent counting, sorting, and transporting the coins far outweighs their worth. The only machine that takes the penny is coinstar, a machine that counts the amount of change you put into it, and takes 11.9% of it. Thus, the only way to rid ourselves of the coins is through exact change. This adds time to our purchases, and again makes us lose out on opportunity costs. Since spending it requires so much effort, pennies end up in jars, useless and failures at their jobs.
- Argument #3: Pennies create opportunities for Americans to lose money.
In the end the penny is a pointless investment, with no benefit for the taxpayers that pay for them. I think we should remove them from circulation and reep the benefits.
A very passionate rant/essay from me,
~Kimzy
Thursday, 7 March 2013
Why We Should Reduce Our Meat Consumption -An Essay
Soon, I will be making a persuasive speech in my English class on a topic that has risen to more and more importance in my mind: The reason why the world's population should reduce their meat consumption.
Now, this is the thesis for my speech, so it's going to be structured as followed: A short introduction, my three main arguments, and a final conclusion.
Introduction
Meat is defined as the flesh of an animal as food. Put that way, it doesn't seem to be the most appetising thing, but many people support that it is a delicacy. It has gained popularity as more and more have money to pay for it, notably in China where the meat eating comunity has doubled in size in almost twenty years. There are however some people on this planet who are against the eating of meat, otherwise known as vegetarians. Many vegetarians support that eating of animals is inhumane. Vegetarianism is a difficult life choice, but one that does have many benefits.
Today, once I explain to you how illogical eating meat is, I'm sure you'll agree that we must reduce our meat consumption.
Indivual Health
People who eat only plant-based foods — aka vegetarians — generally eat fewer calories and less fat, weigh less, and have a lower risk of heart disease than nonvegetarians do.
A study, done by researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health in 2012, show that every extra daily serving of unprocessed red meat increased the risk of dying prematurely by 13%. Processed red meat (hot dogs, sausage, bacon, and the like) upped the risk by 20%.
It is interesting to note that everyday, on average, we eat nearly double the amount of meat we should otherwise be eating.
Environmental Issues
The cultivating of meat is a horrible hit to the environment.
A simple aid to the environment would be a meal of meatlessness per week. For your average household, that would result in a saved amount of greenhouse gases equivalent to 1160 miles driven in a car. Since this is not the case, here is how our average meat eating is affecting the environment:
A study done in 2012 showed that livestock is accountable for up to one third of all human caused greehouse gas emmissions, a study done by the Consultative Group on International Agricultural Research.
We all know that water is a rapidly diminishing natural resource, but did you know that it takes around 100 times more water to produce a pound of beef, than it does to produce a pound of grain. And to raise that a kilogram of beef, it requires 8 kilograms of corn.
Global Issue
On this planet, we have 7 billion people. It's been projected that we'll have over 9 billion by 2050 so it raises the question: How will we feed them? Now, at 7 billion, we are unable to feed about a billion people.
Well a study done in 2009, led by McGill University's Navin Ramankutt, shows that we could double the global output of food if we turned the agricultural land that is dedicated to raising and feeding animals into land to grow crops.
On current trends, by 2050 about 1.45 billion tonnes of cereals a year will be used for animal feed - enough to meet the calorie needs of about 4.5 billion people, estimated UN special rapporteur on the right to food Oliver De Schutter.
Conclusion
I believe that if we can feed a billion hungry people by reducing our meat intake, we should do it. I believe that if we can cut reduce our carbon footprint, we should. I believe that if, doing both of those things can help us help ourselves survive, then we should do it.
Reducing the amount of meat we eat isn't a hard task, just a rational one.
Just another essay from me,
-Kimzy
Links:
http://css.snre.umich.edu/css_doc/CSS09-05.pdf
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2012/08/13/too-much-protein-diets-_n_1772987.html
Sunday, 24 February 2013
Meatless March
Starting March 1st, I've decided to not eat meat for a month (hence the title). There's a couple reasons for this decision, most've which are pretty well explained in this video by the wonderful Hank Green.
I also like the idea that I'll be able to learn more about self control and increase my will power. Refusing myself a single indulgence is going to force me to become more creative in the things I eat, and start to try new things. As well, it'll force me to eat healthier, because I'll be more aware of my diet.
I think my biggest challenge with this project will be eating certain foods while I watch my family -who is definitely not going vegetarian along with me- eat the meat. As well, in my family, there are a lot of birthdays in March and I don't want to be rude and reject the food they prepare for their parties or be a nuisance by needing something different. This is not even to mention that I'm Italian: we eat meat with everything. My friend put it quite well: "[He's] Italian: Our sauce has meat in it and we put our sauce on our meat."
Ultimately, I won't really change much, but I like that I'll have at least tried this, and made an extra effort to help our planet. I'll be blogging throughout the month and I encourage anyone reading this who's been wanting to challenge themselves to join me for this crazy ride.
Hoping for the best
-Kimzy
I also like the idea that I'll be able to learn more about self control and increase my will power. Refusing myself a single indulgence is going to force me to become more creative in the things I eat, and start to try new things. As well, it'll force me to eat healthier, because I'll be more aware of my diet.
I think my biggest challenge with this project will be eating certain foods while I watch my family -who is definitely not going vegetarian along with me- eat the meat. As well, in my family, there are a lot of birthdays in March and I don't want to be rude and reject the food they prepare for their parties or be a nuisance by needing something different. This is not even to mention that I'm Italian: we eat meat with everything. My friend put it quite well: "[He's] Italian: Our sauce has meat in it and we put our sauce on our meat."
Ultimately, I won't really change much, but I like that I'll have at least tried this, and made an extra effort to help our planet. I'll be blogging throughout the month and I encourage anyone reading this who's been wanting to challenge themselves to join me for this crazy ride.
Hoping for the best
-Kimzy
Monday, 24 September 2012
Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog - Analyzed
Recently I saw Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog... and I am in love. (If you don't know what I'm talking about watch the movie here and tell them Kimzy sent you!)
Possibly one of the best movies I have ever seen, it follows the story of evil villain Billy/Dr Horrible (Neil Patrick Harris) as he tries to successfully join the 'Evil League of Evil' and defeat his nemesis Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion), the self centered superhero, whilst also trying to woo their shared love interest, Penny (Felicia Day), a simple, caring girl who wants to build a homeless shelter.
Spread out in three acts of 14 minutes each, it is a tragicomedy web series directed by Avengers director Josh Whedon. Released in 2008, it is filled with jokes and singing and beautiful characters.
A theme that I found could be tied to this movie was that though ambition is important in achieving your goals in life, one must remember to not overlook the things that were once - or still are - important to them.
The way the story is told is untraditional in the way that it is told from the perspective of the bad guy. This leads me to the problem of using terms as protagonist and antagonist. From the traditional taught-by-my-third-grade-teacher perspective, protagonist is the good guy, antagonist is the bad guy. Done. End of story. However, in this case, the protagonist is very well Dr Horrible, aspiring super villain and not Captain Hammer, jerky jerk-faced self important super hero. Got it? Good.
So, to understand how I came to that theme rather than something along the lines of through ruthlessness, you can achieve any goal (which is a liable theme though, in my opinion, not the one best suited for this particular story), we need to go into our protagonists mind (quick reminder here, protagonist is Dr Horrible). He begins the story with one single goal -which would be to become part of the Evil League of Evil - and a vague I-want-this-to-happen idea -making Penny fall in love with him. But, as the story progresses, Penny clearly becomes of higher and higher importance to him, so much so as he risks his projects for her. This, however, changes when she begins to hang around Captain Hammer. So you'd think that his priorities would change back to world domination right? Well then, you are a robot who clearly hasn't ever had a school girl crush on someone.
It doesn't change with the flip of a switch. So, even though he puts on the facade of needing only to join the League, deep inside, he truly cares for Penny. When he kills her, his feelings of dread and sadness and loneliness make for a empty victory. This is made all the more evident when he makes his final vlog in which he is dressed as himself (Billy) and not Dr Horrible. This is because he has gotten all he thought he would ever need as Dr Horrible and yet still feels empty without her. His feelings of accomplishment are squashed by the weight of the cost. (This is referred to as a Pyrrhic Victory)
I love this movie because the acting is beautifully done, the story is amazing and the singing is perfect.Though there are a lot of songs, none feel out of place or overdone - though I will admit that almost all of them are cheesy on some level. The beats are good, the lyrics add to the story and they're catchy. I've been singing the Bad Horse Letter and Phone Call at school nearly non stop and everyone's annoyed with me.
Simply put, thank you Josh for making such an engaging, hilarious, cry out loud movie thaat I have watched way too many times.
Another movie analyzed by me
-Kimzy
Possibly one of the best movies I have ever seen, it follows the story of evil villain Billy/Dr Horrible (Neil Patrick Harris) as he tries to successfully join the 'Evil League of Evil' and defeat his nemesis Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion), the self centered superhero, whilst also trying to woo their shared love interest, Penny (Felicia Day), a simple, caring girl who wants to build a homeless shelter.Spread out in three acts of 14 minutes each, it is a tragicomedy web series directed by Avengers director Josh Whedon. Released in 2008, it is filled with jokes and singing and beautiful characters.
A theme that I found could be tied to this movie was that though ambition is important in achieving your goals in life, one must remember to not overlook the things that were once - or still are - important to them.
The way the story is told is untraditional in the way that it is told from the perspective of the bad guy. This leads me to the problem of using terms as protagonist and antagonist. From the traditional taught-by-my-third-grade-teacher perspective, protagonist is the good guy, antagonist is the bad guy. Done. End of story. However, in this case, the protagonist is very well Dr Horrible, aspiring super villain and not Captain Hammer, jerky jerk-faced self important super hero. Got it? Good. So, to understand how I came to that theme rather than something along the lines of through ruthlessness, you can achieve any goal (which is a liable theme though, in my opinion, not the one best suited for this particular story), we need to go into our protagonists mind (quick reminder here, protagonist is Dr Horrible). He begins the story with one single goal -which would be to become part of the Evil League of Evil - and a vague I-want-this-to-happen idea -making Penny fall in love with him. But, as the story progresses, Penny clearly becomes of higher and higher importance to him, so much so as he risks his projects for her. This, however, changes when she begins to hang around Captain Hammer. So you'd think that his priorities would change back to world domination right? Well then, you are a robot who clearly hasn't ever had a school girl crush on someone.
It doesn't change with the flip of a switch. So, even though he puts on the facade of needing only to join the League, deep inside, he truly cares for Penny. When he kills her, his feelings of dread and sadness and loneliness make for a empty victory. This is made all the more evident when he makes his final vlog in which he is dressed as himself (Billy) and not Dr Horrible. This is because he has gotten all he thought he would ever need as Dr Horrible and yet still feels empty without her. His feelings of accomplishment are squashed by the weight of the cost. (This is referred to as a Pyrrhic Victory)I love this movie because the acting is beautifully done, the story is amazing and the singing is perfect.Though there are a lot of songs, none feel out of place or overdone - though I will admit that almost all of them are cheesy on some level. The beats are good, the lyrics add to the story and they're catchy. I've been singing the Bad Horse Letter and Phone Call at school nearly non stop and everyone's annoyed with me.
Simply put, thank you Josh for making such an engaging, hilarious, cry out loud movie thaat I have watched way too many times.
Another movie analyzed by me
-Kimzy
Friday, 27 July 2012
Notes to Strangers
Inspired by many different DIY projects that I found online (specificaly this brilliant blog post titled Love Notes for Strangers), I decided that I should go around good old Montreal leaving around little notes.
I made three different kinds of notes:
That's it! Find my note, send me a pic, become part of my blog :D
Just another project from me
-Kimzy
I made three different kinds of notes:
- Being the Inspirational/Classic notes which contain things that go along the lines of "You're beautiful" and "Don't forget to be happy" and "I challenge you to make 10 people laugh."
- Being the Nerdfighteria related notes. Here you can find a lot of "DFTBA's" and "Thank you for Decreasing Worldsuck's". Each one has a link to the Vlogbrothers channel and is mainly to introduce more people to nerdfighters and to bring a smile to the face of actual nerdfighters.
- Also being Nerdfighter notes; these however all have to do with John's books and I will be adding them to his books next time I go to Indigo.
That's it! Find my note, send me a pic, become part of my blog :D
Just another project from me
-Kimzy
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